Faux Beaus


I’ve always been pretty lucky to have amazing people around me. There was, however, a time in my life where those people were married, straight women, or gay men (yes, even that one ex-boyfriend). I honestly thought that regular men were non-existent. While I loved all the expensive product, shopping, and ridiculous drama… something was missing.

Until a few years ago when I was about 25, everything changed. All of those people turned into old friends I used to know, and a whole new parade of people waltzed in. It was perfect timing.

However (enough with the sappy stuff, here’s where I turn cynical again) you take the good, and you take the bad. With this new life came the most amazing men I’ve met to date. All of which married and/or committed. I wallowed in there awesomeness for years. Who needs a boyfriend when you have everything you need from the men right there at your fingertips. And BONUS they come with perfectly packaged brand new girls  for the befriending. The kindred spirt-ness is just everywhere, like that pixie dust stuff floating in a field when you’re in a Polaroid holding pretty flowers.

Each faux beau gives me a little piece of what I need. And their wives don’t even mind a bit.

General Manliness: They can fix the sink, help you move, have whatever tool you would never buy instead of buying a new scarf.

Male Perspective: While they’re not usually great with the words, having them around keeps you from going of the girly edge. From the drama, the over spending, the overthinking.

Activities: Who else do you go camping, biking, golfing, or snowboarding with? They also come with important info like sports stats and you can talk about your favorite team with them and they’ll know what you mean. Oh, and they get you out of the inside from time to time.

Nerding out: Who doesn’t love a good afternoon of videogames. They also know lots of stuff about electronics.

Negotiations: We’re typically too nice to negotiate, plus we don’t get taken seriously. Bring one of these faux beaus with you and you can get a screaming deal on cars, cameras, and they can flirt with the women behind the desk to get your flights changed for free.

Now, the assignment for the day. Learn to love the lovelyness each of these men can give me, but find one that can give me the missing parts.

Companionship: At the end of the day, they go home, and so do you. But they go home to the ladies they love and you go home to blog about dating.

Sex: While I’m fully an advocate of “personal time” it can’t compete with the real thing.

Self Esteem: There is a rule with these faux beaus. They can’t tell me I’m sexy, or they love me, or they want to see me when I’m 80. There is a line you can’t cross to keep them.

The moral of this story? It’s worth it. While at times I need the missing stuff, having them around reminds me that there are more of them out there. They exist. They’ve given me that hope I lost at some point (thanks to that gay boyfriend).

kirsten sig 2

One Response to “Faux Beaus”

  1. 1 jessie

    i think a faux beaus is great. they help remind me that men are not all bad after all and that i should hold out to meet a special someone who will be as good to me as my friends are. now, if i can just get one of them to tell me why the check engine light is on in my car, we’d be set.

    p.s. those are my feet.

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